By: Marcia Zidle, M.S. N.C.C.B.C.C.

Are you familiar with the parable “The Blind Men and the Elephant”? It’s a classic and has leadership principles.

Six blind men were discussing what they believed an elephant was like, since they had heard how strange a creature it was. Of course being blind they had never seen one so they went to the market to find one.

The first blind man approached the beast and felt the animal’s firm flat side. “It seems to me that the elephant is just like a wall.”

The second reached out and touched one of the elephant’s tusks. “No, this is round and smooth and sharp – the elephant is like a spear.”

Intrigued, the third stepped up to the elephant and touched its trunk. “Well, I can’t agree with either of you, I feel a squirming writhing thing – surely the elephant is just like a snake.”

The fourth was now quite puzzled, reached out and felt the elephant’s leg and said: That’s nonsense because clearly the elephant is just like a tree.”

Utterly confused, the fifth stepped forward and grabbed one of the elephant’s ears. “You must all be mad – an elephant is exactly like a fan.”

Finally, the sixth approached, and, holding the beast’s tail, disagreed again. “It’s nothing like any of your descriptions – the elephant is just like a rope.”

All six blind men continued to argue, based on their own particular experiences, as to what they thought an elephant was like. It was an argument they were never able to resolve. Each of them was concerned only with their own idea. None of them had the full picture and none could see any of the other’s point of view. While in part each blind man was right, none were wholly correct.

This Happen In Real Life As Well!

Most of us are guilty, at least some of the time, of thinking our way is the right way and their way is wrong. How do you make sure you don’t fall into that trap? It’s important to be able to see things from other people’s perspective—especially when you are trying to resolve conflict or sort out a really difficult issue. So here’s an exercise that can help you do this.

Think of a situation involving yourself and someone else where the outcome was not as you would have liked or where you were in disagreement.

1. First position (you) – Consider things only from your point of view. What did you expect? What were your needs? Why was it important to you?

2. Second position (the other person) – Consider the other’s perspective. What were they expecting? What was their main priority? What did they value most and believe in?

3. Third position (the bystander) –Stand away so you can see yourself in the first position and the other in the second position. What do you see about the other two points of view? Are their similarities? What is different? What could either, or both, parties have done differently to reach a more productive conclusion?

Smart Moves Tip:

So, the next time you find yourself in a conflict or disagreement that’s affecting your relationship with your boss or other key people in your professional and personal life, remember that you may be seeing the ‘tail’ of a situation, whilst the other people see the ‘tusk’ or the ‘trunk’. Step back a little and try the exercise above so you can see the whole ‘animal’ instead and understand those other points of view!

Marcia Zidle, M.S. N.C.C.B.C.C. is a board certified coach who provides executive coaching to business and community leaders and management teams to leverage their skills, strengths and style for high performance. Go to http://www.LeadersAtAllLevels.com to sign up for the smart moves blog and free success e-books. Listen to her weekly internet radio program "The Business Edge" for Voice America Wednesdays at 2pm EST at http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2186/the-business-edge.You can contact Marcia at 972-380-9281 or Marcia@LeadersAtAllLevels.com.